Monday, March 10, 2008

I feel violated.

I was putting a Foley catheter in a woman the other day. Simple, straight forward procedure that isn't particularly comfortable but most people say it wasn't as bad as they thought it would be and if they actually breathe when I tell them to, some say they hardly felt it at all.

I open my kit, put on my sterile gloves, get everything situated where I want it and use one hand to spread the labia so that the urethra will be visible. She lets out a long moan.

I stop. "Are you alright?"

"Yes."

Ok, I start cleaning the area. With each pass of the swab she lets out another long moan. "Are you really, OK? Am I hurting you?" (Sometimes people find the cotton a little scratchy and are very sensitive.)

"No, keep going."

So, with my still sterile hand I grab the catheter, tell her to take a big breath in and try and get it over with for her as quickly as possible.

Instead of taking in a big breath she lets out a series of moans. Then she asks, "Is that supposed to make you have an orgasm?"

"No."

Maybe coffee straw girl knew what she was doing after all.

78 comments:

Jamie said...

Oh.my.god. That is unbelievable.

Katie said...

I stumbled across your blog last night and I have to say I completely enjoyed reading it! I have always wondered what you guys would see while doing your job.

mrsmac said...

oh my god. unbelievable is right!!!!

Mommy Dearest said...

Ew! Even if it was what I was feeling at the time I would try my hardest not to let YOU know that it made me orgasm!

crystal.gray said...

I'm with the others.....O...M...G!!

Quinault said...

Wow, I know that your sexual sensation can be enhanced by pregnancy. I wonder if pushing and labor gave her orgasms? Maybe she has a wire crossed. Or she is a S&M chick

Koka Sexton said...

My wife sent me this link. I wasn't going to read it when I saw the topic, but I am glad I did. This is hilarious!

Brigit said...

did you feel violated? Eeewwww! That's just wrong- even if she DID O, don't tell you that you made her get off! EWWWWWW!

Brigit said...

ooh, duh, Just noticed the title of your entry... sorry!

audrey said...

That's wrong, so very, very wrong!

Erin said...

Now I'm pissed that I was cathed after my epidural. Maybe I'm missing out on a completely enlightening sexual experience.

I'll make sure that this go-round, I try it out. Well- Maybe not.

Chris,Ericka, & Colton said...

EWWW! What is wrong with people????

yoinkit said...

LOL!! Aaaahh!!

Where do you work...my nurse wasn't nearly as experienced as you! LMAO!!

You'll have her friends requesting you as soon as they get pregnant! HA!

the driftwood collector said...

Wow. Just, wow.

FunnyGal KAT said...

Ha! You're always hearing about such-and-such percentage of women don't orgasm during intercourse, but I've never seen the study with the numbers of women who orgasm without anyone really doing anything at all! And I'm with the people who want to know why she told you!

CappuccinoLife said...

Ummmmm...yikes.

AtYourCervix said...

A big fat OMG is in place here! I know what it feels like to have a catheter placed.....and it's a very unique sensation. But an orgasm? Not quite. Wowsers.

The Former PK said...

I just have to say, I'm a random stranger reading your blog and L.O.V.I.N.G. it. Seriously, so funny. I usually share the stories with my husband too.

No Nonsense Girl said...

Ha Ha, that's just wrong on soo many levels... Poor you.

I linked you to my blog. :)

Elizabeth Ledkins said...

Unbelievable. Really. When I was in L&D (all three times) I can honestly say that there is NO WAY that I would be even remotely turned on by anything that goes on. It never ceases to amaze me what people do.

Oh, and after I was sent to your blog by a friend I am LOVING EVERY SINGLE POST! Keep it up!

The McCanns said...

Okay, so I've been reading this blog for a week or so (and LOVING it) and updating my husband as soon as you update. Well, upon reading this one I couldn't wait to tell him about it.... Do you know what his response was? Just a shrug and a nod. "Yeah, you'd be surprised at the large percentage of people who actually enjoy those and then work their way up to bigger things to stick in there until eventually..." ew. ew. EW! Leave it to my husband, the pit of useless information....

Brittney Andy and Boston said...

I personally know a woman who births all of her children naturally because she claims to have a 5 hour orgasm afterward.
I think she is a liar.

So I randomly found your blog and read every post since it was started in one sitting, keep up the good work.

Holly said...

oh my word!!
I just found your blog today, and I've read EVERY one of your posts bc I love love love them :) I will be waiting for more.

Mortiferouslatte said...

Just...wow. That is insane...

Cristina Mathers said...

i have a cath when i had my ovary removed and once when i was prego with my daughter and let me tell you...it would never make me orgasm. it was the most horrific pain ever. in fact, it was worse than labor. no kidding.

MBKimmy said...

LMAO that is funny and I have to say I too would be put out/embarrased for her!

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PE Mommy said...

OMG that is just sick!!!!I have NEVER remotely had an orgasim from a cath.

John Nikki Marshall said...

I just stumbled across your blog and I'm loving it! Thank you for sharing your experiences, you always wonder what the nurses really think, now I know. Everything I thought to say about this post was said, but keep up the good work!

Maranda said...

That is unbelievable!!! She was totally faking.

Emmie Jo said...

I have just stumbled across your blog and I might have just peed a little and spent the last half hour at work doing NOTHING! Love it!

Seth and Ben said...

Shut up!! You have got to be kidding me. You must work nights. All of the crazies come out then. :)

Cara said...

stumbled here...this is great...I work on Geriatric Med surge and my just be inspired to start my own...version...titled the old and the crazy...

simplynotso said...

That is disgusting, but what a lucky girl that she can have an orgasm so easily:)

Joy said...

I think I just threw up in my mouth! You are a BRAVE person. OMG!

Dunstan Family said...

oooh how uncomfortable I hope you dont mind I dream of being a labor and delivery nurse. If you would like I wont read your blog. Thanks for having one

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Jade van Blomestein said...

rocoh. my. gosh. Okay...what the heck. talk about uncomfortable moment.

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Now that's awkard.


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