Sunday, December 9, 2007

In the spirit of repeat customers.

We have another frequent flyer who is still many weeks to her due date (think next year) and shows up 2-3 times a week for a labor check. Each time she shows up she acts increasingly painful as she moans that she is there for "contractions again". I honestly don't want to have to take care of her once those real contractions hit but that will be a story for after she delivers.

Anyway, she is also quite young, and while I do give her credit for showing up without her mother in tow I suspect this has more to do with her mother having an epiphany about how she no longer has to put up with her bratty daughter now that there is a father-of-the-baby/fiance to do the job. The most annoying thing about her damn visits are her dumb fiance. He gets her settled into the room and then comes to hang out at the nurses station like it's a freaking social hour where our primary job is to entertain. It clearly says, "Yeah, I don't really believe that she is in labor either so I am going to come hang out with you guys because I can't stand the freaking whining."

Last week, mid chat I think his real motive came out. He must believe that if he is nice enough and we like him then he can start asking for favors. It went something like this:

"So, I have heard that having a baby can cause you to tear. <blank stare> You know, down there. And they sew you up right? <What is this guy getting at?> So if that happens and they are sewing down there anyway is it possible that the doctor can go ahead and sew up and little extra?"

And here I thought he was just friendly.

10 comments:

Bev said...

oh god, I just spit my water out all over my computer screen. You are too freaking hilarious and I love your blog!

EMA said...

Ok seriously, please don't stop sharing your stories, I can't tell how much we can all relate. You say the things that everyone else just thinks!!! Thanks for the humor!!

cla517 said...

kmzDuring my delivery, my hubby thought he'd be funny. While they were sewing up my episiotomy he says to my midwife, "Could you put in an extra stitch or two?" Her answer:

"Whatever you need, small fry."

I actually started clapping for her! :)

AtYourCervix said...

I've had this asked during repairs. I've also seen husbands insist that the female circumcision be put back together as well, on the women from African countries that do FGM. But that's a whole other topic!

kim said...

You are my new hero. I have a line of maternity tees and your sass and irreverence are right up my alley. I would love to know who you are. You are an inspiration.

kim rossi
kimtees.com

p.s. about to launch a new site so stay tuned...

Katie said...

aaahhhh. the "daddy stitch"

Laura K. said...

You'll be happy to know they do that without even being asked here in Holland! When my son was born (via vac) I had an episiotomy. When they sewed me up the dr had my husband come and check... asked if it was to his LIKING. I sat up and said.. screw him! What about ME?

And at my 6 week checkup I found out that she forgot to stuff part of me back inside before stitching. 4 yrs later I still have a little flap hanging out. I'm due in June and if they cut me again, I'll ask them to fix that LOL

kim said...

Too much info, flap.

sherrie0568 said...

my jaw totally dropped. holy cow the nerve of that guy! hahaha

sasha said...

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