Monday, December 10, 2007

A Tale from EMS.

After going down to the ER to Doppler a 10 week pregnant woman, I hear the nurses at the nurses station laughing hysterically about a woman being brought into the ER by EMS with a full code going on. The problem was she was so dead that full rigor mortis had set in. Me, being curious why in the hell EMS would transport a woman who is so clearly dead to the ER, while doing full chest compressions and pushing drugs decided to stop for the story.

Apparently EMS had arrived at the woman's home way out in the country, answering a call from her daughter.
"She is still warm!" the daughter exclaims as they walk in the door.
The find the woman unresponsive in her bed. They try and sit her up and realize she is warm from holding onto a heating pad but so dead that she is stiff from head to toe. One of her arms flies right up above her head so she is now looking like she is sitting at school patiently waiting to ask a question.

One of EMT's starts trying to explain to the daughter that her mother had been dead for quite some time and there was nothing they could do. They are still trying to console her when they hear someone else come through the door.

"MAMMA!"

The daughter had called in her brother from his coon hunting on their property and there stands Bubba well over 6 feet tall pushing 350 pounds dressed in camo still holding his pellet gun.

"Aren't ya gonna help my mamma?"

"Sir, your mother has been dead for quite some time."

He starts turning red and shaking.
"AREN'T YA GONNA HELP MY MAMMA?!?"

"Yes sir, we are."

14 comments:

Bethany said...

I just have to say that this blog is the most entertaining part of my day. I laugh my head off every time I come to your site.

Suzi and Adam said...

PLEASE write a book with all of these stories- it would be a best-seller! I read every new post, and since putting a link to it from my blog, all my friends (even my husband) are completely addicted, too!

Amanda said...

That's a good reason to work a code!!

I'm a volunteer EMT and I love to check out your blog, it's so nice to see others think the same way I do about some of the patients we get.

Jaime said...

I have often thought about doing an EMS blog as I work as a paramedic and I think this this one is absolutely hysterical! I have so may stories I would love to share... thanks for sharing yours!

banderas11 said...

This is not funny, it's pure shit.

And, we wonder why we can't get decent medical help in this country? The friggin' medical staff is too busy laughing at dead people and the grief others are experiencing during trauma. Real fuckin' funny, dipshit.
You need compassion more than you need humor.
Why did you get into this profession? You obviously have no compassion.
How is it that you find dead people, bleeding vaginas, and all the other shit you post about so funny, or worse yet, think it's blog-worthy?
My medical advice for you....a complete psychiatric evaluation and a lifetime supply of Xanax.
Better yet, Commit suicide... but first, please close this shitty blog.

Gini said...

Eesh, banderas11 takes life a little too seriously. I think these blogs are hilarious. While some of them are unfortunate, it definately gives us "desk workers" an insight to the other side of L&D that not everyone sees. Get over it banderas11! You don't like it, don't read it.

MarsBar said...

Yes sir, we will do all we can.

Aww, now I feel sorry for EMS...

Sarah said...

This makes me really sad. :( Why would you think someone in denial about their mother being dead is funny...?

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Gina said...

I fail to find this one funny.. it is quite sad, actually..

Gina said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
mewwsical said...

Good grief, this is not denial, it's simple ignorance and deafness. Workers who deal with people like this can empathize with the poster... if anything's funny, it's the situation they're dealing with, not the fact that anyone is dead. Besides, what if someone else had a true emergency and did die because these EMS workers were busy attending to a woman that was already dead, just because her children were "in denial"?

FaileyMcFailsalot said...

Blech. It was a good read til I got to this post.
I always thought that it took a special kind of person to work in the medical industry because they had to face so much hurt and pain everyday.

Now, I just think it takes a special kind of fucktard cold enough to laugh at people in anguish over the loss of their mother.

What a waste of a mildly amusing sense of humor...

counselingmomma said...

For anyone not finding this funny - eff off. Seriously? This blogger isn't the one who needs a psych eval. - YOU DO!

To the poster of this blog - as a counselor, I feel you. Laughing is an awesome way to deal with what people in helping professions deal with!