I took over an assignment on a patient with the warning that she didn't speak much English. Her husband however was fluent.
I walk into the room and see a beautiful girl (who's admission reveals that she is 22) and her husband, a frumpy looking man who I suspect was wearing a toupee and is a self proclaimed ripe old age of 58. She was from the Ukraine. Yes, I was puzzled.
Before too long, curiosity gets the best of me and I ask how the two of them met.
The husband answers, "We met online."
Me, still showing my true naivety replies, "Gosh, it must have been hard to get to know someone online who is so far away."
"Not really, I just chose the one I wanted and went to pick her up."
Ummmkay.
Monday, January 7, 2008
I didn't know this really happens.
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17 comments:
I think I'm with you... I didn't know that that really happened....
That's so sad. But I imagine this country is a step-up for the new bride.
atyourcervix- It is a step up unless he beats her, treats her like property, or she has no one in her life to be a friend.
Very true Ariella, very true.
Believe it or not, I actually know someone who did this. How bad does it have to be in Russia if you are willing to marry a stranger from another country?
My husband had a guy friend that was the mail order groom. He moved to the former Czechoslovakia after meeting a girl online. He sold everything and moved there to marry her.
I've seen this happen within my own extended family. It is more common than you may think.
The trend seems to be people coming from areas facing extreme poverty - male and female. I've seen some of the marriages work (when respect comes from both partners), and other times where you feel VERY sorry for the "bought" spouse, due to the expectations placed on them by their partners who expect their "money's worth."
My brother in law (not the most desirable of individuals... let me tell you) actually went to do this mail order thing. He selected his girl and instead of completing it asked why she was in it... and they ended up being super good friends, she got out of the program and he intends to move out there to be with her...
However, in the meantime, he's still enjoying his minor girls at the ripe age of 28.
I met my husband online but we were friends for 2 years before we even met and 4 years before we married! Not the same scenario but still.. I'm American and he's Dutcn and 13 yrs older than me. It wasn't just a spur of the moment thing like you described here LOL
I met my husband online 6 years ago and I am from the Ukraine too. Since he could not move up there I had to quit my PhD program and join him in the USA. He is a bit older then me (I think marrying a 58 old dude while you are just 22 is a major sing of gerontophilia) and I boss him around most of the time.
I am due mid-June and I only wish I could have a nurse with the great sense of humor such as yourself to be there and keep my company while I deliver this baby :-)
Update: major sign
sorry for that typo :-)
You speak sarcasm so beautifully....
I have been reading your blogs all night and I am now a flippin' fan.
Thanks for the giggles.
My next door neighbor has a Thai wife... The story is quite funny...but she actually seems to be into him..... She's a young somewhat attractive Thai girl of about 30 and he's a short, fat, hairy, onychomichosis having, guido of a New Jersey guy who wears an Amber enclosed Scorpion on his gold chain.
It happens...
So I think I use to work with the guy that you are talking about. THis guy literally picked a 18 year old girl to buy be because he couldn't find anyone here and he wanted a son. SO GROSS! Pour Girl I feel so bad for her!
Yup, this happens alright. I work in Family Law, but mostly in intervention orders, and I can tell you this happens a lot more than you would like to believe. Ukraine is a new one on me though. Our usual story is Thai. Although we got one Russian woman who married a man with four former brides, all Thai and all with restraining orders against him.
Oh and Ariella, you're spot on. And not just the beatings but making sure she doesn't learn English, get a licence or learn how to use public transport, get a job, have any money of her own, use birth control. And if she steps out of line? I bet she's heard "I'll call immigration and have you deported" quite a number of times
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