A while back I noticed a patient of mine had a cyst on one of the outer lips of her vagina. No big deal. It happens.
Come time for delivery, with the patient up in stir ups and the spotlight on her girl parts I notice the doctor silently but quite attentively inspecting the cyst between contractions. I see her poke at it. Then, with no warning what-so-ever she gives it a firm squeeze and a ridiculous amount of purulent discharge comes squirting out at a speed that I am pretty sure broke the sound barrier. It is heading right at me. I manage to move just enough that it hit me in the shoulder.
I give the doctor a "what the hell was that all about" glare.
She looks at me apologetically.
The whole time the patient remained blissfully unaware.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Thanks for the warning.
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11 comments:
Ouch! I am glad she didn't feel it becuase those suckers hurt when they pop! But still that is gross that the Dr did that one with out asking and two with it pointed in your direction. Gross!
EW!
Oh ick...
Ugh, I have my L&D rotation next week for school. I hope nothing like that happens!
So disgusting! I have been reading your blog for a couple months and it's hilarious. Thanks for making me laugh!!
Oh.my.god. I just read your entire blog front to back and it is seriously one of the most hilarious things I have ever seen. You really could get this published as an anthology.
Reminds me of last night (though I didn't get squirted at) when the Dr. says to the pt. whom she was repairing her periurethral tear... this might hurt, it's on a VERY senstive area... pt. had NO clue exactly WHAT sensitive area it was... but the Doctor kept giving me the eye... because she knew I knew... OUCH...
What is it with you and projectile vaginal secretions? :(
HA. Just wandered in courtesy of DaMomma's tagging you for a meme and WOW was this post unexpected!
I plan to read every one of your other posts!
Speaking of warnings ...
You might want to consider that top post for the next day or so. Not that the surprise vaginal secretion wasn't hysterically funny.
But, FYI, you've been tagged. Good luck!
http://damomma.com/2008/01/29/i-dont-do-memes-unless-theyre-for-carolie-or-anyone-who-approves-of-her/
And now I'm really sorry that I discovered this blog on my lunch hour.
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