Stand Up Kind of Guy

A few weeks ago I had a very young patient come in laboring. I really felt for her because in addition to being young she was also alone and probably scared to death. She also had with her a really sweet birth plan that included being able to labor naturally and the father-of-the-baby showing up and being supportive. After talking with her for a little while I found out that the first part was probably going to be a go (IE. her reasons for not wanting an epidural did not include 1) needles hurt or 2) my mom/boyfriend/husband says I am not allowed) but getting a supportive dad to show up when he hadn't been involved for the past 6-7 months might not go so well.

I got her all set up and as soon as a better room opened up I moved her up to a room across from the nurses station so I could keep a better eye on her in addition to giving her access to a jacuzzi tub. I guess she must have taken care of the second part of the plan because a couple of hours into her labor the FOB shows up. To put this VERY mildly, the guy looked rough.

Before long, I am glad I moved her to the room that I did because it allowed me to hear a little better what was going on in the room. My patient was doing a fantastic job but it was obvious that dad was one of those guys that handles crying/screaming and probably any uncomfortable situation by acting like a jack-ass. He is yelling at her to "just get the damn epidural" and it doesn't take too much to realize that he is really agitating my patient. I get her alone and I ask her if she wants him to leave. Big tears appear in her eyes and I can see that she knows that her plan isn't working. I tell her that is it her choice and to just give me the signal and he is out of there.

All it took was two more contractions of him acting a fool and she wanted him gone. So in I go to try and get a guy who can quite obviously pick me up (and probably another nurse too) and run off with us, one under each arm, to get gone. I also call security, stat, for help.

I tell him he has to leave. He doesn't take it well. How dare I take this experience away from him? He loves her so much...blah, blah, blah. You know, all the stuff that being completely absent through the pregnancy clearly indicated. It quickly turns into a shouting match (or at least he was shouting) and we have three nurses and one of out scrub techs in there trying to ease the situation and move him towards the door.

Minutes pass. Where is security? The shouting continues. The four of us start herding the guy in the right direction while he is spewing off threats about how we all better watch ourselves because "I'll be back" Terminator style. We finally manage to get him to the elevator and when the doors open who is standing in there but the security guard?

Nice dude. We call you up here stat and you take the time to get on the elevator with 17 other people.

Now, we get strange calls to L&D all the time of people asking for weird and completely non-L&D related things but about 4 minutes past bar closing time the phone rings. It's A-hole. He is now obviously quite drunk and in tears about how sorry he is and how he is a total fuckup. Plus, he needs a ride home. Ugh. Tell me where you are buddy and I'll call you a cab.

At least my patient got half the delivery that she wanted, at probably a little closure as a bonus.