Thursday, November 15, 2007

Private Practice

Thank God it was slow enough on the floor last night that I could enjoy watching Private Practice with some of my OB colleagues because it just wouldn't have been the same alone. One of the midwives said that when they started the show were consulting with a midwife but they ditched her to find someone less educated. It would seem they abandoned the idea of consulting anyone at all because I am pretty sure that Google would give you better instructions on how to reduce a shoulder "dis-ty-shea". In fact, I think I might test this theory in a moment but it really doesn't take a physicist to realize that you can hardly get your hands in someones vagina while she is sitting straight up with her crotch to the ground, never mind that the obvious first step would be to lay her down anyway.

Also, we are all in agreement that there is no way in hell any of us (even the most touchy-feely naturalist midwife up there) would jump in the tub with a woman about to deliver, short of a life threatening emergency. She couldn't hold it in forever. And why the hell did she take her gloves off?

Finally, I would like to thank ABC for the women that piddled in the rest of the night with mild contractions 10-20 minutes apart thinking that delivery was immanent. I will be watching my paycheck for compensation.