Saturday, November 3, 2007

Oldies but goodies.

Way back in the day, when I was a mere volunteer in a city far, far a way there was a 5 foot tall, 500 pound woman that the doctors referred to as "old half ton" upstairs. Don't shoot the messenger.

Anyway, this lady was being kept in the hospital on bed rest for reason that I can only imagine now were complications that were somehow related to her being so large. One fine day, it comes time for her to deliver by C-section and due to my "awesome" connections, I had the pleasure of watching.

After a long prep of taping this woman's fat folds up to the top of the table, to expose the proper area and hunting down stools for the doctors to stand on so that they could actually see what they were doing the surgery began.

There were all sorts of people with their hands in there retracting skin in attempts to be helpful and and yet it was apparently not enough because shortly after the start of the proceedure we all heard.

"Ouch! Oh shit!"

The doctor with the scaple still couldn't see well enough thorugh all the fat everywhere and he cut one of the other doctors helping. To everyone's horror, the next words out of his mouth were:

"Oh hell no! If this fat bitch has any diseases I swear I am going to kill someone."

Um doc, she only has a spinal, she's not unconscious.

The lesson: choose your doctor wisely.

More to come on consequences of choosing the wrong doc later.

6 comments:

Jessie said...

Someone had sex with her in the first place?

Flann said...

Oh goodie, I can't wait for the follow-up!

cla517 said...

I just laughed out loud at this! Too funny.

My mom (a VERY skinny woman) had to have an emergency C due to previa. (She was hemmorrhaging) She heard them call for the scalpel before she was asleep! So, sometimes it happens even when the person SHOULD be sleeping.

Working Girl said...

I just peed a little.

No Nonsense Girl said...

I just laughed out loud at this....


I'm going to hll.

Rachel said...

LOL!! OH my gosh I almost fell off my chair laughing at this one!!!